Far Away from “Here”……

I wasn’t imagining it.
Despite what I kept trying to tell Myself.
I could definitely make out the clouds on the Horizon now.
The faintest color of soft pink around the edges.
I hoped She hadn’t seen it yet
Our conversation had trailed off.
There We sat, shoulder to shoulder on the Stone
The night had been a little on the cold side
The nights, Here, always were.
I wasn’t sure if She made them that way..
or Me.
Maybe something in My subconscious wanted it
to be cold…So She would need Me
I’d surrendered My jacket to Her as soon as We got up here
She gratefully, and with a smile I’d not seen since We were dancing earlier, took it and draped it about Her shoulders.
A shiver ran down My arm and I set my glass down with a “tink”
It was still full of Champagne, I hated Champagne…it was for Her
I unrolled My sleeves, so that they hung loose at my wrists
No idea what happened to my Cuff links.
They’d be back tomorrow night, I was sure.
My shuffling feet broke the near silence..
Crickets, off in the Fields surrounding Us, began packing away their violins
I stood up and moved to the Wall to look out over the World
I could make out Conifer Forests and Ancient Oaks off in the Distance
The tips of their leaves starting to glow a gentle soft green
“They’ll be looking for Us soon.”
Her voice, soft and sweet as it always was, just over My shoulder
I turned to face Her and put my back to the approaching Dawn
“Yes,” I whispered, “I know”
“You always look like you are trying to figure out a way to stop it” She said.
“I know”, I repeated, nodding.
My eyes finally had the courage to look at Her face
The face She wore, this time. Always someone who My heart was bursting for…
She smiled. The tight lipped smile of resolution.
A lock of Hair had liberated itself from the rest of Her hairdo
It was the most beautiful part of Her in this Moment
Wild and Curled it hung by the side of Her determined face
Gently brushing Her cheek as She moved Her head to look up at Me
A dangling definition of Her spirit
My eyes held Hers in an embrace for what seemed like hours
The stones around us beginning to gain a rosy hue from what was happening over My Shoulder.
I knew it was only seconds before the Sun spilled over and bathed everything in the bright light of morning.
I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled a soft cloud into the air.
She grabbed the lapels of my Jacket and pulled it tighter against Her.
I extended a hand..offering to help Her up.
She took it, Her skin…so soft and warm against Mine
Mine, rough and sacrilegious in Her presence.
She stood up and stepped closer to Me
Gentle “shooshing” of Her satin dress against Her body
I slid one of My Arms into the small of Her back and pulled Her close
I could feel Her heartbeat, it was pounding against My Ribs
A distress call that I knew I couldn’t answer
That wasn’t how it worked, Here, anyway
She always came to My Rescue
Never the other way around
She was as tall as I was. With Her heels on, She was taller
Laying Her head against My Shoulder, I felt Her forehead
against the side of My Cheek
Worried about the stubble scraping Her
As if She could be damaged in such a way
My eyes drifted to the Hillside behind us
The Creeping morning light making its way to a Darkened Patch there
The ground scorched and broken
Seemed like ages ago
When fire fell from the Sky
“But We put the fires out and You’re ok.” Her answer to My unspoken concern
“One of a thousand other places like that, Here. And the green has overtaken them all”
Her voice floated visible in the air
small wisps of steam
I forgot from time to time there was no real need for Us to speak
Somewhere in the Deep forest, A mockingbird began to Sing
Mocking my inability to stop time.
Anger flushed My cheeks for a brief moment
Why did things like that manifest Here anyway?
I wanted to jump down from this wall.
Grab a shard of stone from it
Hunt it down and smash its tiny little feathered head in.
Her voice, breaking Me out of my fury, “because it’s part of your world..and you are waking up.”
I’d been Here in the daytime once. Went into Her room and found a drawing in the top drawer of Her roll top desk
A man, tall and handsome. Like a fairytale.
I asked Her about it once
She shook Her head with tears brimming in Her eyes
I let it go
Her strong arms had encircled my waist
So deep in the throes of my internal rebellion against my forced ejection from Here
I hadn’t noticed
Until She squeezed Me tightly
And placed a gentle Kiss upon My Cheek, “You need to go”
I could already feel the Warmth of the Sun on my back
The air around us was beginning to shimmer with light
This is the worst part….
She let me go and slipped out from My Embrace
To stand in front of Me.
She removed my Jacket from around Her shoulders and handed it back
I took it, folding it over My forearm.
“I’ll be here when you get back”
I couldn’t speak…again, I didn’t have to
But I could never muster the courage to make my lips form “Goodbye”
So I let it happen
It was always so strange to me
When I was younger, I always imagined She faded away
But now that I am much much older, I understand the reality is
Much less, Romantic and Kind…far more cruel
I fade away from Her
While My eyes flutter open and I have no memory of this place
She must stand and watch as I cease to exist, Here
With Her
Though in these later years of My life, I am sure
that I remember the sounds
of Someone crying


About Eric

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38 Responses to Far Away from “Here”……

  1. This is heartbreaking Eric. My emotions are all over the place. This is so moving and touching. You don’t write with a pen.. You write with your heart!! πŸ’”β€οΈπŸ’•

    • Eric Syrdal says:

      Thanks, Carisa. It’s extremely emotional for me to write. What’s going on in you, went on the whole time I was writing it. Still does when I read it. Yes, my heart is always the medium for my writing. Thank you so much. I’m glad it touched you so much. β™‘

      • Thank you for sharing it. Writings like this piece are always the hardest to share. I’m so sorry, Eric. I’m so sorry your heart has had to struggle with such emotions. I admire you more and more. I always smile when I see you in my Reader. I look forward to reading and knowing you better. You’re full of love and courage.
        I always describe my emotions when I release a piece that is so personal like this one… It’s like taking my beating heart out of my chest and allowing everyone to hold it in their hands. It leaves me so vulnerable and I hope everyone treats it with the love and care I treat it with. I feel I know you so much better after reading this. Thank you for allowing that. ❀️❀️❀️

        • Eric Syrdal says:

          You’re welcome! And I can’t tell you how much it means to have someone look at it this way. Thank you for understanding the fragile nature of its construction. And thank you for your warm words

          I look forward to seeing more of each other! ❀

    • Eric Syrdal says:


  2. moonskittles says:

    Oh my.. what a landing this was!! SO happy to be the voyeur of this breathtaking intimacy, and shiny stardust!!!
    Love the anticipation built within this piece, and the resounding ache.
    sigh.. beautiful!

  3. Rita says:

    Oh brother of mine! This is an exquisite saga. I’m with Carisa and moonskittles on this one – what a poignant ride you’ve taken us on. You possess a soul like no other my friend ❀

  4. Souldiergirl says:

    I don’t even have words for your depth-you’ve brought me to that place and to tears. This is crazy ️beautiful

  5. CuteFaceAI says:

    Such emotion you have shared in your words. I was right there, hating the sunrise and crying at the end. Thank you so much for sharing your talent.

  6. I thought about this a lot last night…. I just want to thank you again for sharing it. It is exceptional ❀

  7. Atomic Words says:

    hey Eric nominated you for an award. In case you do it let me know πŸ˜ƒ

  8. Ms. Vee says:

    Absolutely beautiful! Your writing is exceptional Eric. Your words make you feel the emotions. 😁

    • Eric says:

      Thank you.
      Yep. NO audio recording for this one. Tried a few times, way too emotional.

      • rachel says:

        yeah…i can imagine. every time i post something this personal…emotional…vulnerable…i turn around and delete it. i deleted my whole damn blog last month. it gets too scary for me being so open. but you do it well. i hope to hear more of your voice! it really takes your words to a whole new place.

        • Eric says:

          Rachel, I am so sorry to hear that. It absolutely sucks when our minds trap us like that. I wish I could say that I didnt understand. But I do. I don’t let any of my RL friends or Family know this blog exists. I don’t try to hide it..if they find it, then ok…but its heartbreaking to know that a lot of the people I love won’t understand the emotions behind these words or where they even come from.

          The audio recordings are something I started doing little by little..don’t always post links to them..but I’m getting braver as the days go bye. One day I hope to go back and record some of the older ones.

          Thank you, for understanding me.

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