Sono Surdus…

I speak
And when I hear my voice
It scares Me
It scares Me because it
Doesn’t sound the way I imagine
It does
It doesn’t sound like it belongs
In this body
It hurts my ears
Twists at the scars on My heart
It doesn’t sound like
It was the voice I was given
When the universe was new
It’s been worn down over
The lifetimes
Too much white noise
And interference mixed in
When the words come out
They don’t take off like
Shooting stars and light up the sky
Or like a brief flash of lightning
In the sweltering Southern Night
They can’t reflect the power
That they do when they sit here
Idle on this screen
My voice is alien
It’s out of tune
Like a string instrument
That’s been neglected
For years
It never brings me comfort
Doesn’t settle the tremble
Behind my eyes
It rumbles in my chest
Like a leviathan of the deep
It prefers the dark
In the hollow of My Chest
I don’t remember when
I stopped hearing My own
I think it was when
I finally learned
I’m sitting at a banquet of Love…
….And starving to death

About Eric

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28 Responses to Sono Surdus…

  1. Geetha B says:

    How beautiful and terrible all at once. The last sentence of your poem is so poignant. Bless your heart, may you never starve affection Poet!

  2. Eric says:

    I’ll take that Hug!
    Most of the to me when I write “I” I mean me.

  3. My new favorite ❤ Felt your pain!

  4. Sabiscuit says:

    Beautiful, evocative poetry, Eric. We should do well to remember that this is not a festive occasion for everyone. Hearts for you with best wishes. ❤ ❤ ❤

  5. Rita says:

    Oh, My Brother this is so beautifully poignant. It brings a tear to my heart ❤️

  6. augustmacgregor says:

    A difficult poem to read. To me, it brings up the challenge of finding one’s voice. A reminder of sometimes I feel that I sound like other people, in echoing their words. But I know we have our own voices in our hearts. I hope you get something to eat at that banquet.

  7. rachel says:

    you have one of my most favorite voices. it always soothes me.

  8. Larysia says:

    I adore this.
    I think it’s very relatable. A lot of the time I personally feel like I’ve lost the ability to vocally expressive myself. We face the wear and tear of life, and sometimes, while becoming stronger, we become weaker, too. Afraid. And we have to find a way to express our powerfully immortal soul through our vulnerable human meat suit.
    Anyways, that’s what I took from it.
    Off to read more of your poetry ~~~~
    Great work!

  9. Your poetic voice is beautiful and it comes out in the cadence of your speaking voice. Your voice is a balm to many. I hope you can use it to sooth away the doubts and angst in your head.

  10. Wings and Words says:

    You stopped my heart with this piece. Broke it and yet made me want to shout…Yes!!

  11. moonskittles says:

    Ohh Eric.. what a strong and heart wrenching piece. I send you love with each skittle!
    – Dajena 🙂

  12. Oh I love this one! ❤️

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