Rorschach test…..

Crayones_cera-gray

“Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this” Rorschach, Watchmen, DC comics 1987 –

(upon being told, for the umpteenth million time, that my sense of right and wrong is going to take me nowhere in this world)

An eye roll, a sigh
A shaken head
and a finger pointed
in my direction
The full weight
of another Human’s
Disapproval
Rests on My Shoulders
Once more

What was my
Savage Crime?
Is it to have taken
another life?
or to haven stolen
the bread from a Hungry
Child’s hand?

Nothing so grand.

It is my vision….

My eyes are capable
of viewing the world
in all the colors that yours
perceive

Vibrant rainbows of
Shades that astonish and Awe…

We share a common palette
An arsenal of hues
Save one….

Grey.

I do not see it.
I am told it is a problem.
I am told it will lead to my ultimate failure.
I am told it is an archaic affliction not welcome in the modern world.
I suffer from it, every day of my life.
It has restricted my ability to live, to love and to be free.
I was born with it.
There is no cure.
It means that I know the difference between right and wrong.
It means that I am acutely aware of the consequences of the paths I follow.
When I do Black. I know I have done Black. There is not enough paint in the universe that can turn it white.
When I do White. I know I have done White. There is not enough paint in the universe that can smudge its brilliance.
There is no absolution for Me, for anything…
It means I can not unsee
It means I can not unknow
It means I can not willingly hurt the people I love without feeling it
It means I can not accidentally hurt people I don’t know without feeling it
It means that I bear scars for my behavior that outweigh the crimes committed
There is no “easy way” with me
Does it mean that I am incorruptible?
Certainly not
With Me, it is the worst kind of corruption
I can not claim ignorance
I can not feign ignorance

I’m told that the worst part of all of this is….

…..I do not seek to cure myself

The glib parting shot: “Must be nice to live that way.”
My response: “I’d never wish it on my worst enemy”

Don’t hold up a Rorschach test and argue with me about what I see.

Advertisements

About Eric

Writer/Plumber/Poet/Father/Gentleman/Romantic
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Rorschach test…..

  1. Elizabeth Helmich says:

    But gray is my favorite color, it has so many delicious and variable shades….she protests. Love this one Eric.

    • Eric says:

      Thank you, Elizabeth. I know it has its uses…difficult for me to tolerate the moral kind. 😉

      • Elizabeth Helmich says:

        No no, you misunderstand (or perhaps not). I have a very high moral standard, and I – like you, hold myself to one even higher than any other soul ever would. I more so mean that I have a very high intolerance for discrimination against others. That is *nearly* unforgivable to me, though I also realize others have been born of different times, different ages. I try to remember this.

  2. Desmo says:

    Hurm. Very nice poem, Daniel

  3. Larysia says:

    Fantastic poem, Eric!
    It’s an interesting perspective to have, only black and white. I see plenty shades of grey, but you’re right in that some people disregard consequences to make allowances for lousy behavior. I think folks should see all colours, but not forget the that painting with them all muddies a canvas.
    As a side, I love Watchmen and Rorschach is definitely my favorite character.
    … And Desmo sits behind me at work.

  4. rachel says:

    this is so you. i love your heart.

  5. Mr Modigliani says:

    I understand your virtuous point. I would just comment that this will make it very difficult for you to be a painter ;-), for being a painter requires the effective application of tone, needing at least small amounts of black or white added to various colors. What really muddies colors is when the colors themselves are mixed together.

  6. No, fifty shades for you huh? 😉 Wonderful poem, but who’s Daniel?

  7. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Oh, you are a beautiful soul, Eric. I can see how knowing you are doing something you consider wrong would be even more painful than those who can somehow justify their wrongdoings. I was just having a conversation today about that. Wondering about something, but ultimately, I can only be true to myself. I am so much harder on myself than anyone ever has been but I am not in denial. Which, I suppose, gives me some measure of comfort. At least I own my shit, lol.

    • Eric says:

      And that’s exactly what I’m saying, Vic. I always have to own my shit…it’s not an option for me. I just wish people could understand that it’s not something I can just put aside. Thank you for understanding, Poetess. ♡

  8. Ms. Vee says:

    The more I read your poetry, your compassion is a tender gift Eric! Blessings and peace!💗

  9. Rita says:

    No surprises here! Love my B&W brother ❤️

    • Eric says:

      Love you too! It’s a hard way to look at the world. But it’s the only one that works for me. All else is a joke I’m trying to play on myself.

      • Rita says:

        Exactly! I am able to see the grey. I understand and respect its value; I however can not live with it. I want heaven or hell, up or down, left or right. I don’t do well in the middle of the road at anytime. I love you ❤️

  10. Geetha B says:

    Lovely write Eric. I agree with you on the moral standards to hold oneself to. I am however lenient on others for their misdemeanours when not causing too much hurt to others and when they are willing to redeem themselves (what they call in French faire amende honorable). I don’t think you need to cure yourself and whatever it is that changes such vision, I am doubtful I would call it a cure 🙂

  11. Your heart beats deep red ❤

  12. Nicely put, Brother! It’s a curse, that’s for sure, although one I wish afflicted every human.

  13. Ugh… This: “bear scars for my behavior that outweigh the crimes committed” So much, yes.
    Hearts like this, love, are so easily bruised. I know you see shades of purple. (((💜)))

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s