Extracting the Poetic from the Friendzone

was about 5’5″ tall
with a deep olive complexion
black kinky hair in tight curls
thick and mostly tied up in a pony tail
or one of those “banana clips”
Deep dark eyes
with soaring cheekbones
that made her eyes smile
when she did
they would squint closed
the bigger she smiled
she was a sweet soul
from the moment we
began working together
she was never afraid
to show affection for me
I remember exactly the way
she used to hug me tightly
when she got to work
a soft kiss on the cheek
after which she always wiped away
the lipstick
passing time
between movie rushes
eating popcorn behind the concession stand
she standing so close
sometimes WAY too close
arm sliding around my waist
with a gentle squeeze before She left
so we were friends, yes
maybe I was “friendzoned”

But I have to tell you…
I don’t understand the aversion to the term
I understand what it’s meant to express
That you have been
completely removed from all hope
of an intimate relationship with a woman

Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?

So here’s what friendzoning meant
as it related to Jodie and I

My fingers
never touched
any part of her
that wasn’t appropriate
in polite company
Her fingers
never touched
any part of me
that wasn’t bare skin
socially acceptable…
to be exposed in public
But that didn’t mean
that when she hugged me
that when she stood next to me
and leaned her hip against mine
That at any point
when I could feel her body heat
against mine
even through layers of fabric
that my heartbeat didn’t respond
and my blood didn’t race through my veins
We spent hours together
more at work
than outside of work
but I remember the night
she broke up with her “boyfriend”
who, I had no idea, would 30 years later
be a brother-of-other-blood to me
I remember that night
because we all when out
and she didn’t find that it made her happy
to talk with the others…
she and I played pool
she asked me to show her how to shoot
we did the cliche’ movie script
leaning over the back pose
I felt her hair beside my face
I felt her body under mine
I felt the skin of her arm against my own
I felt her snuggle into our formation
I felt the smile in her voice
when she made a crack about
not being “good at this”
I remember after the game
she asked me to take her home
and when we drove to her house
we sat in my 1984 olds coup
and talked
not about her breakup
just about things
and she reached out
and took my hand
and she held it
for a long time
not nearly long enough
for my pounding heart
But long enough
for her to lift her hand….
fingers still tangled in my clumsy paws
to wipe tears away
that I felt
hot and wet on my rough digits

And that is where this “friendzone” term
can really FUCK OFF!!

Because I ask you…
if there is any place more intimate to be???

When this
beautiful, warm, affectionate, powerful creature
found the solace she needed
to relax her defenses
when they had obviously been breached
when she took that banana clip out of her hair
and I breathed in whatever fruit-flavored shampoo she used
like it was life-giving oxygen
That she understood
she was perfectly safe and secure
There..with me…
That she could rest her heart on mine
and have nothing in the entire universe to fear from me
that any woman
anywhere else in this universe
finds enough strength
in you
to let her guard down and be who she really is
even if it’s just for a couple of hours
circa 1992
at 2 in the morning
in front of her parent’s house
sitting in those fucking bucket seats
in that stupid piece of junk
that I inherited from my parents

Did I love her? Yes. Absolutely.
Was I sexually attracted to her? Yes.
Was She sexually attracted to Me? I don’t know….maybe?
Did She love Me? Absolutely.

That…is worth more to me…than any possible sexual relationship I could have ever had with her……ever

I’ll take my role with her, over his…any day.

Our remembrances of her…are not equal

Whole story here: The Story of 3 Souls


About Eric

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18 Responses to Extracting the Poetic from the Friendzone

  1. Eric says:

    Thanks, Heart. It’s a fond memory that reminded me once again this morning how special it is.


  2. Diana says:

    What a super read – I don’t always have the calm attention for longer pieces: this one I couldn’t stop reading. So good Eric!

  3. Eric says:

    Thank you, Lady Pink!!! 😊❤

  4. Eric says:

    Thank you, Angela!!!

  5. Lee Dunn says:

    What a heartwarming story.

  6. DanicaPiche says:

    This is wonderfully written. I had to stop and start a couple times! It carried me away….

  7. Lee Dunn says:

    Reblogged on my site.

  8. Beautiful and a lot of other things. Sigh.

  9. Eric says:

    Thank you, Lady! ❤

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